So there is this shelf nothing fancy just a hunk of wood screwed into the back of my head just a simple piece of wood it wasn't going to be there long just needed to set one piece of junk on it tell I got the time to pick it up, fix it, and hand it to the big guy. Unfortunately I never found the time and it sat there buy this time not as lonely as before it had another friend to keep it company. Then before I knew it I couldn't find the space to set my junk I just piled stuff on top of one another. I started to watch the board bow and show sign of wear the screws didn't seem to hold as tight as before. Then it just couldn't take the weight anymore this last project I decided to set to the side for later well I guess it was a little bit heaver than the rest. This shelf the good old sturdy shelf where all of my "junk" in my life sat came crumbling to the ground. Let me just tell you it hit the ground hard to.
If you haven't figured it out yet I am talking about my life. You know those shelves we like to set our problems on, well at least I know of them. I have been so good at setting things on that shelf and labeling it to be delt with later, then forgetting about it till its all dusty rusted and of no use. Well with the recent addition of loosing my greatest friend ever to a state of corn fields, pig farms and dairies that shelf collapsed. I guess it just couldn't take the weight it was bearing which I guess its not supposed to right? You know they should really put a weight limit on those things so I know when to clean it off, or put up a new shelf. I have lived about the past ten years of my life putting things aside till later and now its hard to see where to start, whats broken, how to fix it, and where to go from here. I feel so lost like there are five million different options right in front of my face and I can't reflect and think long enough to decide which is the best to pick. Its overwhelming that is the best word to describe this feeling.
God has shown me so much these past three weeks. Like one I am bipolar.......no really......well sometimes anyway. He also showed me that I don't put my trust or put my joy in him.........ouch that one went straight through the heart. Or the fact that we are going to face trials in our lives but the way we react is the true test of our faith.............I got an F on that one for sure. All those lessons are so hard to grasp so hard to comprehend and so incredibly hard to remember when God throws you another curve ball. I keep wishing I could go back to January, and know what I know now. Sucks that I cant do that!! I know not to dwell on the mistakes and keep trucking through the thick sticky mud in this forest that I am lost in.
So what do you do now? Fix it right. I only wish it were that simple, but I guess the only real thing to do is to hand it to the Lord and then see if he can bring his cleaning crew over to my house to help me dust off and mend the broken pieces of my past that have been sitting on this shelf that just collapsed so I guess technically the broken pieces are laying on the ground now. Either way we are picking them up one by one and getting through this one step at a time. No matter how long it takes.
No comments:
Post a Comment