You know this sounds so weird but I do my best thinking in the shower maybe some of you can relate to that feeling of only really getting your best ideas in a warm shower like the next best song lyrics or the next money making invention that will help you to achieve that dream of living in a mansion with your own cleaning and lawn care people while you sit on your butt and watch your hug tv all day or spend the day shopping in tiffany's and all those nice stores..........you know those kinda ideas. I have personally come up with a couple of those ideas myself and working on finding the right people to pitch the ideas to:) but not tonight I had a deeper thought that I got to wrestle with in my 15 min long shower that I so needed after this exciting and emotionally exhausting week. I started thinking of what a lier I am I know way to start a blog right. Well I just started thinking you know I constantly tell people that I am happy with who I am and how I look I know I am not an average sized person I have how might you say a little more fluff in the middle than your normal person in my age. Dont get me wrong there are days that I love myself.
See here is what you skinny people dont understand I didnt choose to be this way I didnt wake up when I was five and look at my mom and ask for donuts and cheese burgers from mc donalds and all the junk food I could stuff in my mouth and then sit on the couch and eat potato chips while I watched endless hours of barney which apparently I really enjoyed when I was little(what was i thinking!!). Then of course the thought goes back to God. Why did God let me look like this why did I have to go through the terrible years of my mom and gradparents telling my I needed to go on a diet and bribing me with money and then the year of absolute HELL!! that I went through in fifth grade when I got called ms. piggy every single day with the whole making your nose look like a pig nose and the little pig snorts every once in a while coming from the back of the bus. Or the friends that look at me and say im so fat i need to loose weight blah blah blah they just dont get it. I mean I wouldnt look like this if it was my choice but then another thought comes to mind why did God choose my out of the millions of people on the earth to be the fat one. Is it cause he hates me?
I think it cause he knew I could handle it he has equip me with the ability to ready his word and to look at what he has to say about me. He calls me his beloved I am a princess and I dont know about you but I have never seen a fat ugly princess. He knew what I would endure the pain I would face and the hateful words that I would get to hear day in and day out and then he made sure that I had something to fall back on.
So yeah if I could go back in time and take that donut out of my hand and slap myself in the face and tell me what crap I was going to have to deal with and that I needed to get my act together and loose some weight I would do it. But since time travel is not an option im just going to have to relay on Gods word cause really no one elses opinion really matters. Just think about that next time you start to think oh im starting to get love handles or im so ugly or no one could love a girl that looks like this..........its a lie cause im pretty positive that God loves you but im just sayin on that one!
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