Broom and a Dust Pan Please!!

So there is this shelf nothing fancy just a hunk of wood screwed into the back of my head just a simple piece of wood it wasn't going to be there long just needed to set one piece of junk on it tell I got the time to pick it up, fix it, and hand it to the big guy. Unfortunately I never found the time and it sat there buy this time not as lonely as before it had another friend to keep it company. Then before I knew it I couldn't find the space to set my junk I just piled stuff on top of one another. I started to watch the board bow and show sign of wear the screws didn't seem to hold as tight as before. Then it just couldn't take the weight anymore this last project I decided to set to the side for later well I guess it was a little bit heaver than the rest. This shelf the good old sturdy shelf where all of my "junk" in my life sat came crumbling to the ground. Let me just tell you it hit the ground hard to.

If you haven't figured it out yet I am talking about my life. You know those shelves we like to set our problems on, well at least I know of them. I have been so good at setting things on that shelf and labeling it to be delt with later, then forgetting about it till its all dusty rusted and of no use. Well with the recent addition of loosing my greatest friend ever to a state of corn fields, pig farms and dairies that shelf collapsed. I guess it just couldn't take the weight it was bearing which I guess its not supposed to right? You know they should really put a weight limit on those things so I know when to clean it off, or put up a new shelf. I have lived about the past ten years of my life putting things aside till later and now its hard to see where to start, whats broken, how to fix it, and where to go from here. I feel so lost like there are five million different options right in front of my face and I can't reflect and think long enough to decide which is the best to pick. Its overwhelming that is the best word to describe this feeling.

God has shown me so much these past three weeks. Like one I am bipolar.......no really......well sometimes anyway. He also showed me that I don't put my trust or put my joy in him.........ouch that one went straight through the heart. Or the fact that we are going to face trials in our lives but the way we react is the true test of our faith.............I got an F on that one for sure. All those lessons are so hard to grasp so hard to comprehend and so incredibly hard to remember when God throws you another curve ball. I keep wishing I could go back to January, and know what I know now. Sucks that I cant do that!! I know not to dwell on the mistakes and keep trucking through the thick sticky mud in this forest that I am lost in.

So what do you do now? Fix it right. I only wish it were that simple, but I guess the only real thing to do is to hand it to the Lord and then see if he can bring his cleaning crew over to my house to help me dust off and mend the broken pieces of my past that have been sitting on this shelf that just collapsed so I guess technically the broken pieces are laying on the ground now. Either way we are picking them up one by one and getting through this one step at a time. No matter how long it takes.

Fluffy Muffin Tops That No One Wants to Eat:(

You know this sounds so weird but I do my best thinking in the shower maybe some of you can relate to that feeling of only really getting your best ideas in a warm shower like the next best song lyrics or the next money making invention that will help you to achieve that dream of living in a mansion with your own cleaning and lawn care people while you sit on your butt and watch your hug tv all day or spend the day shopping in tiffany's and all those nice stores..........you know those kinda ideas. I have personally come up with a couple of those ideas myself and working on finding the right people to pitch the ideas to:) but not tonight I had a deeper thought that I got to wrestle with in my 15 min long shower that I so needed after this exciting and emotionally exhausting week. I started thinking of what a lier I am I know way to start a blog right. Well I just started thinking you know I constantly tell people that I am happy with who I am and how I look I know I am not an average sized person I have how might you say a little more fluff in the middle than your normal person in my age. Dont get me wrong there are days that I love myself.

See here is what you skinny people dont understand I didnt choose to be this way I didnt wake up when I was five and look at my mom and ask for donuts and cheese burgers from mc donalds and all the junk food I could stuff in my mouth and then sit on the couch and eat potato chips while I watched endless hours of barney which apparently I really enjoyed when I was little(what was i thinking!!). Then of course the thought goes back to God. Why did God let me look like this why did I have to go through the terrible years of my mom and gradparents telling my I needed to go on a diet and bribing me with money and then the year of absolute HELL!! that I went through in fifth grade when I got called ms. piggy every single day with the whole making your nose look like a pig nose and the little pig snorts every once in a while coming from the back of the bus. Or the friends that look at me and say im so fat i need to loose weight blah blah blah they just dont get it. I mean I wouldnt look like this if it was my choice but then another thought comes to mind why did God choose my out of the millions of people on the earth to be the fat one. Is it cause he hates me?

I think it cause he knew I could handle it he has equip me with the ability to ready his word and to look at what he has to say about me. He calls me his beloved I am a princess and I dont know about you but I have never seen a fat ugly princess. He knew what I would endure the pain I would face and the hateful words that I would get to hear day in and day out and then he made sure that I had something to fall back on.

So yeah if I could go back in time and take that donut out of my hand and slap myself in the face and tell me what crap I was going to have to deal with and that I needed to get my act together and loose some weight I would do it. But since time travel is not an option im just going to have to relay on Gods word cause really no one elses opinion really matters. Just think about that next time you start to think oh im starting to get love handles or im so ugly or no one could love a girl that looks like this..........its a lie cause im pretty positive that God loves you but im just sayin on that one!

Nah Nah Nah Nah hey hey hey GOODBYE!!!

So yesterday was my birthday YAY!!! I finally came out of my teenage years and entered into my twenties its a scary but amazing feeling at the same time I love getting to now say that I am no longer a teenager. I know this isnt really true but I feel like know people will finally value my opinion a little bit more, but like I said there is probably no truth to that but its ok:).

Yesterday my day consisted of helping the amazing white family move down to good ole' Lindale TX from there humble abode in Hawkins it was a bittersweet day. I know they will miss there house dearly but now they are closer to their amazing babysitter. On the way to their new house I called my granny back to thank her for my birthday voicemail and one of the first questions of course was so what are you doing for your birthday today. I said well actually im helping move some of my really good friends into a new house she kind of paused for a second and said well what are you going to do for yourself today and at that point I hadnt really thought about it I had a party sunday and that was all I really wanted. So we/ brandon, dustin and jody unloaded the uhaul and jody's truck while I sat and watched basically. I felt kinda bad about that one but I unloaded three cars and helped unpack the kitchen so I think I kinda did a lot. After we got done unloading my super amazing friend samantha cooked an amazingly awesome lasagna and some dessert and so we sat down and ate and they sang me happy birthday (which I did not enjoy I dont really like birthdays I mean I like other peoples birthdays but not mine is that weird?) and then right after they got done singing I checked my phone.

AND!!!!!!



My mom sent me a text to let my know that I had gotten an acceptance letter to University of North Texas what what!!!!! So now today has consisted of calling unt and getting appointments set up while talking to people about housing and trying to figure out what will transfer and all that good stuff. This has been a very exciting last couple of days and im excited to make the trip up there to see the school and look at the house im possibly living in and getting to see my good friend emily........but the best part is I will get to spend the whole entire day with SAMANTHA SNOVELLE!!! which makes my heart very happy:)

DONT DO IT!!

So me and my friend Samantha decided to go see the movie hop yesterday looks cute right.........well I mean its kinda cute I guess if I liked anything about this movie it was probably the few quite funny parts that there were but other than that waist of 4.50 and I guess that was a good part to we went to a cheap showing! well if you wanted to see this movie and dont want me to ruin it then stop reading now cause im going to give you a summary of just how dumb this movie was. Well basically in the first 5 min of the movie I knew i was going to hate it. The very first thing that I saw was a bunch of old paintings of like bunny human type things and then the very last picture is the main human character whos name is fred o'hare and he says I made history in becoming the first human easter bunny or something like that and I knew right then I was going to think it was dumb. And I was close to looking over at sam and telling her we should sneak out and go to another movie theater but I didnt I gave it the benefit of the doubt. (i really shouldnt have done that)!

So basically there is this super cute baby bunny at the very begining of the movie sitting on top of this like rock sculpture thing like they have in night at the museum that says dum dum all the time yeah one of those and he is sitting on top playing the bongos which he is actually pretty good at (which its not real so that comment was kinda dumb) and then his dad aka the easter bunny shows up and takes him down to the candy factory which is baller I wish I could live there make sure if you see this movie to either eat some candy before you go or buy some at the concession thing cause you will want some after seeing this thing. Well basically his dad tells him that he will be the easter bunny in a few short years and he thinks its amazing and then it goes to California which Wendy if you are reading this I thought of you through out the movie cause it was all done in California and actually they used the Hollywood sign in the movie and when I saw that I leaned over to let sam know that California doesnt actually own that sign and they have to pay some guy to use it in movies. That guy has to be loaded well anyway fred turns out to be this huge loser who lives in his car and doesnt have a job and he is sitting at dinner with his family and they all pull out pieces of paper and have an intervention which was actually pretty funny and then this little asian girl sitting at the table looks at him and says sometimes I think that yall only adopted me because fred was such a failure (bout peed my pants on that one). Then it goes back to easter island and the cute little baby bunny is now a teenage bunny who loves playing the drums and he gets in an arguement with his dad and his dad basically tells him that he has to be the easter bunny weather he wants to or not so EB which is his name escapes out of the house and takes a rabbit whole to Hollywood where fred accidently hits him with his car and EB milks it and gets him to let him stay with him while he is house sitting at his sisters bosses massive mansion and long story short the bunny somewhat ruins his life fred almost gets killed on easter island along with the real easter bunny and there is like a fight for the title of easter bunny with one of the chicks that works at the candy factory and EB saves the day and becomes the easter bunny along with fred and freds family thinks that he is going crazy till at the end of the movie when he leaves in the like easter bunnies slay I guess you would call it reciting things that only santa should say.

So to say the least I would never tell anyone to go see this movie if you really wanted to see it wait till it comes out on dvd so you only have to waist a dollar. I guess its an ok kids movie but im not a kid so I couldnt tell you. I thought it was super dumb and so did sam so theres two bad opinions for you.

For the rest of this thing im going to put up some pictures of me Audrey and Virginia we went had a photo shoot last week and it went really well even though I was in a bad mode most of the time but it happens:)

this one is my very favorite!!!

told you I was in a bad mood!

that lake was soooo windy therefore our hair was all over the place

hear no evil see no evil speak no evil 

hope you like those I have my good friend Christina to thank for them she did a great job and then I handled all the editing! welp  im going to have lunch with my mom and papaw what fun!

Which Watch

So like I said I was going to re get new glasses today and what I mean by that is that I got new glasses this past Friday and for whatever reason they just were not working out for me so I went back to eye mart express and got a different pair that look better I think anyway and if you have ever been to the eye mart express in Tyler you will kind of understand it when I say the people that buy glasses from that place can be some of the weirdest people in the world.....seriously Im not sure where these people come from so when I went back to pick up the finished product my friends cody and cassie came inside with me so I wouldnt be alone with all the freaks and the line was super long so we went around picking out some of the ugliest frames that we could find and tried them on while all the funky people stared at us it was kind of stressful and we are standing on the other side of the store trying on more pairs of extremely ugly glasses guessing what we were going to look like when we got old and forgetful and are forced to where the old lady glasses you know the ones im talking about the ones my mom actually owned and wore when i was little its crazy how she embarrassed me even as an infant! so we are standing there looking in the mirror laughing at ourselves and one of the weird men that were sitting up against the wall staring at us the whole time walks up to us and starts asking cody if he wanted to hear some jokes so of course we said yes this guy was crazy and I dont mean funny crazy I mean like needed to be in a pillow room with a straight jacket crazy but he told some pretty amazing jokes or at least I got a laugh out of them so I figured I would share them with you guys
1. so tom thumbs mom had three sons the first ones name was nickel the second ones name was dimes what was the third sons name............
tom thumb......hahahaha its not as good written out oh and after telling this one he went into great detail on how exactly you tell the joke so people think its funny!
2. what do you call a cow with no legs.......................................
ground beef.....
but let me just add that this guys right leg was amputated from the knee down and before he began this part of his joke telling he made it clear that it was ok to say these jokes because the was missing half of one of his legs.........that was really the funniest part to me
3. what do you call a cow with two legs.................
lean meat.......this was my personal favorite
4. what do you call a hog with no legs.......................................
ground hog................
last one 5. what do you call a dog with no legs....................................................
you dont cause they cant come to you since they cant walk.............not super funny i know

i was just thinking I should have told him this joke def. one of my personal favorites mainly because its the only joke that I ever remember
where does a woman with one leg work............................
i hop........bahahahahahah i love it

so then I got my glasses and we left which at that point the guy had found another Innocent victim to tell the same jokes to!


so second half of my day I went to good old sky ranch to work in the cafe for a couple of hours and before I went and saw the amazing virginia preshure........and then headed over to legacy and helped get the cafe ready to have little hyper crazy loud annoying kids come in and buy tons of candy and my personal  favorite part of working the cafe when they buy something that cost like 2 bucks and they look at me with a worried look and say all I have is a twenty.....isnt that so great well while I was working jennifer came into the cafe to get something and happen to notice that we were somewhat busy and stayed to help us out for a little while and when we hit a slow point she informed me that mrs. kati kern had left something with her to give to me well come to find out she had left a watch with jennifer just for me first off I felt like amazingly special cause kati had gotten me something and second off i basically felt amazing cause kati got me something......jennifer could see the amount of excitement on my face and left imediatly to got get the watch she came back and my excitement increased when I saw that it was a sky ranch watch to say the least my day was made so much better so I looked at kasidee and asked if I could go see kati and after her saying yes I proceeded to sprint threw legacy to kati's office to thank her for her amazing gift and then she informed me of where she got it and how she new I would love it which she was right cause I do and then we talked about how she wasnt going to follow my blog until she read something worth reading so I figured if she couldnt find a story basically about her and her amazingness worth reading then im just going to give up.........so after work I went to bible study which was good as always and then to walmart to get a battery for the watch and it is now on my wrist telling me that it is getting late and that I should head to bed thankfully I get to sleep in tomorrow....so exciting but I at least wanted to let yall know about the rest of my day. is it weird that Im not really good at ending these things so basically Im just going to say the end sooooo THE END!

Oh Class

So for my webdesignII class we are required to start a blog or at least thats what my friend cassie said I haven't been to class for almost a month terrible right and I'm trying to graduate in may this might not work out to well but I figured I should do the assignment so I dont get a zero or anything but I'm actually really excited now I can let people know whats going on in my life I dont know how good I'm going to be at this in my crazy life but I guess if i can be on fb for hours at a time I will probably have time to keep up with this thing unlike some of my other friends on this blog spot......wendy......virginia but I'm not going to name names cause that would just be mean but I'm going to go re get some new glasses and take back some things to best buy so I guess you will get to hear from me later goodbye people of the blogging world:)